The Trial

Today the cats came into the kitchen on horseback.

“Hooved animals in the house…” I warned them.

“The human is guilty of treason!” cried Smudge. “Capture her!”

Suddenly Tizer pulled a cord and released a giant cage that fell from the ceiling and engulfed me.

“Seriously guys, what is this about?” I moaned.

“The human is jailed!” Smudge said. “Begin the trial at once!”

Then they all sat in a row and pulled out their wigs.

“I’m pretty sure this is happening the wrong way round,” I said. “And why are you all judges?”

“What is your plea, human?” Sheba asked me.

“If you don’t let me out, none of you are getting fed this evening,” I replied.

The cats proceeded to mutter amongst themselves, before Smudge gave a nod.

“We have decided to release you just this once,” he told me.

“Wow, thanks. I appreciate it,” I said dryly.

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, human,” Smudge reminded me. “Apart from cat wit, which is lower still, but only because we are smaller.”