The Big Move

Today the cats interrupted my packing.

"What do you want?" I asked them.

"It has come to our attention," Smudge said, "That you are not documenting our lives at adequate efficiency."

"Oh right," I said, piling some books into a nearby box. "Believe me, I would love to you, but I'm quite busy trying to emigrate."

"Our scratching post has gone," Sheba informed me.

"Yes I know," I replied, "It's in a box. Like everything else. It never bothered you before; you're much happier scratching the sofa anyway."

"Human," Smudge said gravely, "I'm afraid that if you refuse to stop this silliness and make things go back to normal, then we will have to begin our protest."

I stared at him, wondering how any of them knew anything about 'normal'.

"Protest?" I said after a while.

"Every night while you are sleeping we will remove one of your eyelashes," Sheba explained.

"You do that and you're all losing your whiskers," I threatened.

A few moments of silence passed.

"The lion fish don't want to move," Sheba said quietly.

"Why are the lion fish still in the house?!" I moaned. "Find them a new home. Now."

Smudge surveyed the box beside me.

"Not there," I told him.

"Very well," Smudge said as they began to saunter away.

I wondered how many eyelashes I had.