Curling

Today I arrived at the bottom of the stairs to find that the entire hallway floor was covered in a thick layer of ice.

“What..?” I asked, as Smudge came sliding slowly towards me on a curling stone.

Suddenly several highland cows came thundering past the staircase. I leaned round the banister to watch them go.

“Ok, this is probably the worst idea you’ve ever had,” I told the cat.

“We are partaking in a national game with our Scottish visitors,” Smudge explained. “It is a vital element of building relations across species and culture.”

“Right. And why does it have to happen inside the house?” I asked, flinching as one of the cows collided with the end wall.

“Might I suggest, human” Smudge said, as Treacle came spinning over with a curling shoe in her mouth, “That you pick a team? Or at the very least get out of the way and make everyone a cup of tea?”

I took the shoe tentatively. “I guess I’ll put the kettle on then.”