The Circus

Today I was woken by Tizer dropping something green and rubbery onto my face.

I peeled away the balloon and squinted at the cat. "What do you want?"

"Human, we require you to build us a circus made entirely from modelling balloons."

"What?" I groaned, prising myself up from the pillow and seeing the large bag of balloons on the duvet.

"It is a matter of urgency," Smudge told me.

"What makes you think I have those kinds of skills?"

"You have opposable thumbs," Sheba said, "Little else is required."

"Yeah right," I muttered.

"I might warn you, human," Smudge said, "that failure to complete this task will result in the end of the world as we know it. Or at least this household."

A few moments passed.

"Right, find me a Youtube tutorial," I said, and got up to find my dressing gown.

Catellites

Today I asked Tizer how it is that a cat can always find its way home.

"Our brains are wired into a worldwide satellite system," he explained.

"Well that sounds completely ridiculous," I said, "And horribly expensive. Who's funding that one then?"

"Monetary units is a flawed and messy currency," Tizer said. "Cats do not use it."

"Right," I said, "It must be nice to live in a world without such concerns."

"Care to join us?" the cat asked.

"No thank you," I replied. "I'm quite close enough to your world and I feel that immersing myself would require rejecting sanity altogether."

Tizer was contemplative. "Humans are remarkably fond of sanity," he observed. "But eventually I'm sure they will reach our conclusion and agree: it is hugely overrated."